Here I am, deep in this project, surrounded by tiles, each portrait submitted has become a piece of me, carved out and set down. The real challenge, the one that gnaws at me, is the light—those flickering lights that need to capture the fading neurons, the ones meant to make people feel something deep, something real.
These weeks stretch on, waiting on parts from across the world, all the while I know time is not something I have to take for granted. The first lights show up, dim like a fading ember—no good. Another batch comes, but the wires are all wrong, too short, too small. It’s a grind, this trial and error, but finally, I’ve found the right ones. Lights that flicker just enough to remind you of something slipping away. Something you can’t quite hold onto.
It’s a strange feeling, researching how to mimic flickering neurons while feeling my own lose their spark. But I keep going. The project has to move forward, and so do I. There’s something in this struggle that feels vital, something that keeps me moving, even when it’s hard.
Now I’m knee-deep in code, writing and rewriting, trying to get these lights to dance the way I see them in my head. Hours spent staring at the screen, chasing that perfect flicker. But there’s more to do, more to figure out.
This week, it’s all come into focus—why I’m doing this, why it matters. And yeah, it’s reminded me that I love a good challenge. I don’t know lighting, and I’m not a coder, but I will learn. I know this: this piece is going to shine. It’s going to say what needs to be said. And that’s worth every ounce of effort.
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